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If you only understood..

Dear Diary,
It seems I'm encountering so many people who tend to believe that the 'fix' for my life is as simple as getting a job. I think people may be starting to believe I'm not willing to work/lazy/unmotivated, what have you. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I'd be happy to work. I have no problem with working. The problem lies within the fact that when I work, I become manic.. money hungry.. before I know it, I'm working 3 jobs, and completely ignoring my health. Now that I have had a taste of consistent quality medical care, I realize its importance and would hate to sacrifice that. However, I can't continue to be other people's problem. This disease is truly, in every sense of the term, a pain in my ass! I hate it! No one but my mother understands it and it's so much to explain to the average joe and I don't feel I should have to. My condition at present is the result of years of neglect. I can't imagine it getting worse. I'm essentially one solid basal cell and they are growing and multiplying exponentially!
I really want to relocate. I have nothing to hold onto here. I have made some meaningful connections, but let's be honest. They've fizzled. I'm not going to continue to make efforts with people who wouldn't even notice if I dropped off the face of the universe. I've experienced more than my share of hurt here, and I'm not sure I can withstand much more!

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